Parents have a major role to play when it comes to counselling and guiding children. But counsellors and psychiatrists, who deal with child abuse, state that in several cases they found that parents are not able to communicate with children, often pushing them into a shell.
This is mainly because parents feel shy to talk about sex education with their children and in some cases, where both parents are working, had no time or patience to make the children aware of such issues.
"During interactions with school children, we often find that there is hardly any communication between children and parents. Parents are busy and often stressed out and fail to maintain a rapport with children," said Siju Thottapilly, counsellor and value educator in schools.
During sessions, counsellors have come across various situations that suggest the lack of communication between parents when it comes to sex education.
Sample some:
* A girl was abused by a school staff from class VI. The abuser would make her sit on his lap and touch her private parts. Now in class X, she is confused and scared as the abuser's demands were increasing. He also threatened to 'reveal' that she had a boyfriend to her parents if she continued to refuse his advances.
*A class IX student was anxious to know whether condoms were safe to use, while another student wanted to know whether it was necessary to stick with one partner and what was wrong in having multiple partners.
*A class VI student was anxious and eager to know everything about sex and marriage.
Psychiatrists and counsellors say that parents are often reluctant to speak about sex education as they fear any form of discussions or questions.
"Parents need to change their attitude. They are comfortable watching a movie like 'Premam' with their child, but they are uncomfortable talking about life's realities," said a school counsellor.To bridge this gap schools are now holding counselling sessions for parents. "Parents are either shy or not clear about what to talk with children. Also, there is a feeling that this may not happen to their child. This needs to change. So during PTA meetings, we invite counsellors from outside to talk to parents about child abuse," said Nalanda Public School, Ernakulam, principal Jayasri Nair.
"Parents need to know what to say to a child and how. The role of a parent is important in building a child's character," added psychiatrist C J John. Meanwhile, parents say that to ensure the welfare and safety of their children it is imperative to educate them, not just on the signs of abuse or how to prevent it, but also on the need to discuss sex and sexuality with their children.
"The other day, we requested the school management to conduct a class educating parents on pressing issues such as abuse along with how to introduce and properly explain the topic of sex and sexuality. But they told us that of the 50 members of PTA, only 20 would turn up. My question is, so what? Twenty is better than none. Awareness about such things must begin from parents. As a mother who works full time, I truly believe that no parent is too busy when it comes to the safety and security of their child," said Jacqueline Fernandez, a parent from the city.